Several weeks ago I wrote about the World of Suzie Wong and my admiration of Nancy Kwan. When I did a little research, I learned she had written a book about her late son, Bernie Pock. This week I read that book.
Celebration of a Life: Memories of My Son (N &N Publications, 1997) is more scrapbook than narrative, but in this case it totally works.
The inscription page shows a beautiful photo of Nancy with young Bernie, blond hair and all. In the preface I read how Nancy Kwan learned she was pregnant with Bernie while filming Tamahine in the UK and Tahiti. Because the film was “physically demanding”, Nancy was sure Bernie received his love of stunts and martial arts as far back as in the womb. In his adult years, he was a successful Hollywood stuntman.
Nancy Kwan’s first husband was an Austrian ski instructor named Peter Pock. Sometime after the two split up, Nancy moved with Bernie to Hong Kong to care for her sick father. Bernie attended school in Hong Kong from the age of nine until he was 16. After Nancy married director Norbert Meisel, they moved to Los Angeles.
As a young man, Bernie met and fell in love with an older woman who discovered she had full-blown AIDS after they began their relationship. Bernie was advised to get tested and learned shortly afterward that he, too, had contracted AIDS. The couple married before Devorah passed away in 1992. Four years later, on June 5, 1996, Bernie died. He was 33.
The book includes not only a preface by Nancy Kwan, but also a letter by Norbert to Bernie’s paternal grandmother in Austria. Bernie’s poems, paintings, sculptures, and sketches fill many pages, as do letters written to Nancy and Norbert after Bernie’s death. I also enjoyed the photographs of Nancy, Bernie, and Norbert as well as movie posters featuring Bernie.
Nancy Kwan is one of my favorite actresses. She’s been compared to Audrey Hepburn, but to me she’s even more girl-next-door. It saddens me that she lost her only child at such a young age. Celebration of a Life is a wonderful way for Bernie’s memory to live on, not just for his mother but for her fans and his.
Hello Nancy, this is Roxanne. Your stand-in from so many years ago. I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful and beloved son Bernie. I remember him as such a beautiful young boy when I visited with you in Laurel Canyon. I know it’s been some time since his passing, however grief and loss lasts a lifetime.. and no parent should have to lose a child. So after so many years and remembering your genuine kindness, sweethearted warmth and friendship, I am reaching through social media sending my love and deepest condolences. May you be blessed with glimpses of his spirit around you to remind you he is forever with you through the veil of the other side and is in the light of God.
He was such a nice-looking young man.
May he rest in peace.
His mom has long been one of my very favorite actresses.
Condolences to Ms. Kwan.
Was very handsome man. There is not much material out there about his life.
Thank you for your comment. I’m surprised there’s so little about him in print apart from this book.
I was introduced to Nancy Kwan as a teenager when I watched The World of Susie Wong on television. I loved that movie and was mesmerized by Nancy Kwan. I just read her only child died so young. The death of someone so young is always tragic. My 10-year-old brother died when I was 13. It never gets easier.
Ms. Kwan, if you by chance read this, please let me express first my sincere sadness for your loss and second my admiration for your professional career.
When I was a Law Student Bernie began training me in martial arts. He was one of the best people that I have ever met.
I went to school with Bernie in Hong Kong. He was a pretty good friend of mine for a while and even at 14 he was hugely into martial arts (by the way, he spoke Cantonese, not Mandarin). He was one of the nicest guys you could ever meet and I remember wondering what happened to him after he moved away. I saw a segment with him and his mum on “Entertainment Tonight” and I pointed it out to my husband. I thought about trying to reconnect after that but never got around to it. Now I wish I had. Out of curiosity I looked him up in the IMDB database because I was certain he would have something to do with the film industry given his mother’s background. It was such a shock to hear about his death. Gone much too early. Will remember you Bernie, you were a keeper.
Thank you so much, CJ, for sharing those lovely memories. I’m sure he would have made it big had he lived longer. And, yes, it only makes sense that he would speak Cantonese because few people spoke Mandarin in Hong Kong back then. If you’re interested in obtaining a copy of the book, you can check eBay, http://www.alibris.com, and maybe even amazon. Thank you again!
I met Bernie when I was a teenager learning martial arts. Very nice guy and very talented. I met him through a mutual friend. I remember visiting his home and working out with him there on his wing chun wooden dummy.He was really dedicated to the martial arts at that time. I remember him showing me where he slept sometimes…it was a grass mat on the floor and a brick for a pillow…I know it was crazy, but we were all a little crazy back then. I tried it at home: I only lasted a week. One of the stories I tell my daughters is when Bernie, my friend and I were shopping in Chinatown and stopped at a store for some herbs,the Asian ladies at the store did not want to attend to us. Me and my friend being Black and Bernie who looked white with blond hair and freckles just really looked out of place. The ladies laughed and started talking behind our backs. Well they were really surprised when Bernie started chewing them out in perfect mandarin. We never laughed so hard. Those were great times. I thought I would share
Wow, this is a wonderful story! Thank you so much for sharing! I’ve e-mailed with people who lived near Nancy Kwan when Bernie was a baby in Hong Kong and they just raved about her and little Bernie. I can almost picture the startled looks on those women’s faces when they realized Bernie understood exactly what they’d said. Classic! Thank you again for sharing!! I’m sure Bernie treasured your friendship.
i think Bernard was gay, but i was wrong
No, he had a girlfriend, who had AIDS. When they started dating, they didn’t know she was sick. After he found out, he married her. She died shortly after their wedding. Very sad.